I don't blog much any more. I could use the excuse that your sister has me pretty consumed and that I'm back to work now, so time is at a premium. But that's not it. I haven't written because I'm not so sure anyone wants to hear what I have to say about you any more. Back when we first started going to bereaved parents' groups we were warned that although there is no time limit on our grief, there is a time limit on how long other people will show support and put up with our sadness. So, I've been keeping my thoughts, feelings, and tears to myself. I guess it's because I don't want to be told "You have a new baby to make you happy now" or "Jordyn will always be with you, but you need to focus on Joslyn." People are well-meaning, but as much as Joslyn brings us joy, not having you here will always bring us sadness. One does not negate the other.
So, why am I writing today? I'm feeling guilty. Not just because I haven't written, but also because I haven't gone all out to honor you publicly this year like I did last year. Why? Because it's an arduous process trying to get people to do things. Hounding them to sign up for the Share Walk, or light a candle, or donate to a charity in your name...it's absolutely emotionally exhausting. So when we received an email from Share suggesting that we "Share the Kindness" by doing Random Acts of Kindness in your name this holiday season, I got excited to advertise this to friends and family and ask that they go out and perform RAK to honor you. Then the full weight of the task came to bear on my soul. People are busy, people are preoccupied, people might...not...care...anymore. I couldn't put myself out there to be disappointed, especially during this emotional time of year. So, I printed off several of the notes and started completing RAK for you all by myself. I didn't tell anyone (until now) because it was just for you and for me. Now that I've been doing this for a week, I know how satisfying it feels to put smiles on strangers' faces, while introducing you to people who may never have known about you. So, now I'm going to share it with your biggest admirers too.
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If you are so inclined, print this out and leave it for an unsuspecting stranger when you buy their morning coffee or drive-though lunch, leave change in a vending machine or meter, drop off flowers to residents of a nursing home, leave a toy at a homeless shelter or hospital, bake cookies for a neighbor or bring their trash can in from the curb, leave some chocolate for a stressed coworker, or whatever else you think of that would spread some joy this holiday season.
It's the only thing we're asking for this Christmas...for our first born to be remembered.
Love,
Dennis, Kelly, Jordyn, & Joslyn
P.S. Please call, text, email, or Facebook message us to share what you did. We'd love to know!
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Love,
