Thursday, August 28, 2014

"One of Each"

Dear Jordy-Bug,

It's been quite a while since I've written. In my defense, I've been pretty exhausted since May. This little Jellybean sibling of yours is taking quite a toll on me in the form of exhaustion and periodic morning sickness. I didn't really have either of those issues with you or your Sissy. So, my theory is that this one is a boy. We won't find out for sure until October (yes, we're finding out...I'm a planner and Daddy doesn't like surprises), but my gut instinct says 'boy' because this pregnancy is so different from the other two.

This topic has come up a lot lately because people naturally ask, "How are you feeling?" and "Do you know what you're having?" I usually tell them "Tired and queasy, so I'm guessing it's a boy." I think I'm going to stop saying that, though, because on multiple occasions, the person asking then says, "Oh, that would be great, because then you'd have one of each!"

Ummm.

No.

I have three children.

At this point, I can either choose to make the conversation awkward, or I can walk away. I generally excuse myself without further ado.

I try to remind myself that most people have good intentions, but I would be ever so grateful if they would think before they speak. As I've stated before, one of my worst fears is that people forget you. It's easy for them to remember Joslyn because she's right here with us, and her antics are captured in photos and videos on a daily basis. You're not here physically. There are no new photos of you to post on Facebook. You're in my heart, but most people can't see what's in my heart. Sometimes I wish they'd look just a little harder...

I love and miss you, Bug.

Love,
On March 14, 2012, I gave birth to Jordyn, the most beautiful baby girl ever. During delivery, however, she was deprived of oxygen. We lived with her in the NICU for two weeks, loving her, holding her, reading to her, singing to her, bathing her, changing her diapers, styling her full head of dark brown hair, praying over her, and sharing her with friends and family, until she went home to Jesus on March 28, 2012. These are my love letters to Jordyn Tyse-Dallas "TD" Sander; our little Jordy-Bug.