I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I love watching your little sister do just about anything...play with her toes, suck on her finger, explore her toys and books, grab at the kitties, bounce in her Jumparoo, sing herself to sleep, or even just stare at Daddy with her big blue eyes. Lots of people say, "I can't wait until my baby [crawls, walks, talks, etc.], but I am content to enjoy Joslyn right now, right where she is developmentally. It sounds cliché, but I cherish every moment that I get to watch her become who she is going to be...and I regret the time I don't get to spend with her.
This thought process, of course, always brings me back to you. I look at your photos while I'm holding her, acutely aware that the images will never change. You'll never age. Ever. I wonder what you'd be doing if you were still here with us and what your 6-month, 1-year, and soon-to-be 2-year photos would look like. As Joss grows and develops, it makes me increasingly sad that we don't get to see you do the same. I hope and I pray that when (if?) I get to heaven, God lets me play back your life (even if it's on fastforward) so that I can watch you grow up too.
It's pretty evident that your sister is a mini-Daddy, and I'm becoming more and more convinced that you are my mini-Me. I'd like the chance to see how that all plays out.
I love you with all my heart, Bug.
Love,
