Wow. I've really slacked on writing to you, and I apologize for that. I guess I needed down time more than I realized, probably because the holidays hit me like a ton of bricks. Daddy and I pretty much avoided everything. We were both sick the entire week of Christmas, so it didn't take much for us to decide to stay on the couch together and forego all the "joyful festivities."
New Years was just as laid back, but probably even more bitter sweet. Friend after friend (with the best of intentions) told me things like, "Soon it will be 2013 and you can forget all about 2012" or "I bet you're glad to see 2012 go!" or even "Now you can tell 2012 to suck it!" Initially, I agreed and thought I would be happy for a new year to begin, but I soon realized that I didn't feel that way at all.
Everyone remembers how "awful" 2012 was for our family, but it actually got off to an amazing start. Nearly a hundred friends came out for the 40th birthday/diaper party that Daddy held for us in early January. Friends and family threw several baby showers in January and February to welcome you. Daddy and I anxiously prepared for your arrival in March. Then, we got to meet you on the blessed day you were born. Obviously, things didn't turn out as we had planned with regard to your birth, but those fourteen days we had with you in the NICU were the most precious days of our lives.
April through December were absolutely horrible. As we grieved intensely for you, it seemed like one thing after another tried to beat us down. Among other things, a couple of our friends lost their children too, while several others lost a parent or grandparent. Grandpa Nockerts got seriously ill and was hospitalized, and Grandma Nockerts fell off a stool and ended up with severe pain and a concussion.
Even with all of the heartache, 2012 was a year that I will never ever wish away. 2012 was the only time we got to hold you in our arms. It was the only time we could bathe you, change your diaper, or comb your lovely hair. It was the only time we could share you with friends and family. For all of these things, I am forever grateful for the year that ended up ravaging our family.
We love you, baby girl. Thank you for those two loving weeks in 2012. Please watch over us in 2013.
Love,
So true, so true...
ReplyDeleteWow, can't even spell my own name correctly...
DeleteI wish you didn't understand so well, Breet...er, Brett. ;)
DeleteI wish none of us had to understand...
DeleteI at least hope that my award winning spelling made you smile, even a little bit :)
Glad the blogs are back. Prayers for you always.
ReplyDelete-Janelle
Thank you, Janelle!
DeleteGlad to see your blogs again, missed them. Your recap of 2012 makes my heart break all over and feel the pain left by the void of losing our Granddaughter. I hope and pray that 2013 will bring all of us some good health and happiness. Love MOM
ReplyDeleteAmen. Love you, mom.
Delete2012 did suck, but I am so tremendously happy and thankful I got to meet Miss Jordyn. I wish there was some way to put into words how much she impacted me. Love all of you and praying for a great 2013, I know Jordyn is watching her mommy and daddy. xo
ReplyDeleteKelly, I understand this completely. We lost Cole in 2011, and at the end of that year we were telling 2011 "Good Riddance!". But as soon as midnight came and it was 2012, I was in tears immediately. 2011 was the year of Cole. Although the year brought us so much grief and heartbreak, it was ultimately the year we got to meet our son and have him on this earth for 4 1/2 months. 2011 was an incredibly important year for us as 2012 was for you. God bless you and your husband as you continue this road.
ReplyDelete