Well, we're back from our trip to Faith's Lodge. We met several special mommies and daddies to some wonderful little ones up in heaven with you. We shared our stories and struggles, made crafts to honor all of you, ate some meals, played yard games (a little friendly competition made Daddy happy...and winning the "bags" tournament made him even happier), participated in a group therapy session, hugged, laughed, and cried with each other. The night before we left, we stayed up until 2:30am talking, laughing, and crying with Corina and Andy (Elijah's mommy and daddy.) It was emotionally difficult to leave. Knowing we had to say good bye to our new friends in a place where we felt comfortable for the first time in months, even Daddy had tears on Sunday morning. I felt a calming peace while we were there; except for that final morning, I was virtually tear-free for the first time since you died.
Today I went in to school for an all-day meeting. I found my tears again. En masse. The reality of going to work and seeing the world go on as usual hit me like a brick and helped me recognize how very special our experience at Faith's Lodge really was. Being around other parents who understand what we are thinking, feeling, and doing about your death is a huge comfort. Knowing we could talk about you at any time or burst into tears without anyone else blinking an eye, recoiling, or uncomfortably uttering a platitude, was incredibly freeing. Don't get me wrong, our friends and colleagues here (in the "real" world) have been wonderful and we love them for everything they are doing for us, physically and emotionally...but they just can't possibly understand us the way other bereaved parents of infants can.
Please do Mommy a favor and find Elijah, Cooper, Eliana, Landon, Devon, and Mac and give them big hugs from us and from their mommies and daddies. They miss their angels as much as we miss you, sweetheart. We love you.
Love,
So glad that it was a healing place =) Hugs
ReplyDelete-Maggie
It was, Maggie. It was. :)
DeleteI'm so glad to see you and Dennis smiling in the pictures. Continue to take things day by day. The things you made ate absolutely beautiful. Glad you had a chance to relax. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Melissa!
DeleteI'm glad you guys were happy there, but I'm also very happy you're back:) Love you Jordy!!! Can you cool it off a little down here for us?:)
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteBoth Andy and I are blessed to have met you and Dennis, and Jordy-Bug. We will cherish our friendships forever. Our children will live through us by us celebrating them in special ways and even simple ways. Every breathe we take, they take. Every beat of our hearts, their heart beats louder. Every time their name is spoken by us or others, they come down from Heaven and hug our hearts.
ReplyDeleteWe feel the same way. :)
DeleteThe items you made for Jordy are absolutely precious. Thanks for sharing and it looks like you listened to your heart and went to a place where you met some amazing people. From the pictures it looked like you were in a little slice of heaven (as my mom would say) ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteIt was good for us. :)
DeleteI'm really happy for you that you and Dennis got to go do this. It sounds like it was very comforting.
ReplyDeleteMatt
Thanks, Matt.
DeleteYou guys look really happy and the stuff you made for Jordyn are adorable!!
ReplyDeleteKelly I am so grateful that you had that time to breathe, share, and heal some. I knew the transition would be difficult (shoot, going back to school on a good year was always hard for me), but at least now you know there is the possibility of healing, a hope for tear free moments. You are absolutely awesome and amazing! I am so grateful for your honesty in the hard moments because it makes the honesty of your better ones so much sweeter! Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jess. :)
DeleteIt's awesome to hear that you both are reaching out and looking for ways not only to comfort yourselves but others by sharing your truth.... I saw you on "Voices from the rooftop" when you and Dennis shared your story.. :) What an accomplishment!!! Everyday God makes us stronger. Jordyn gets closer everyday.... God still has plans for you both.... But you already know that... Do you ever wonder how many people might have been brought back to faith through all of you ?
ReplyDeleteI don't know, Kelly, but we can only hope Jordyn's life has impacted many in positive ways.
DeleteSo wonderful to see you smiling in the pictures! Sounds like an amazing experience for both of you! Hope the memory of your visit brings you comfort during the most difficult times. Your crafts for Jordyn are absolutely adorable, I'm sure she loves them and all of the thought you put into them. Good luck in the days ahead at work. Praying they get easier for you <3
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